Monday, July 23, 2012

South Park (The Strange Case Of Carroll Bryant)

"Well, oh gee, I'm so afraid for Carroll Bryant, Mr. Mackey. The manager of Goodreads, Patrick Brown, banned him from the website after a bunch of bullies targeted him for a post he wrote. Patrick just let them hound him relentlessly. Now I can't read all of that wonderful poetry and stuff. Everywhere I go on the internet, they are talking about him. Even on facebook. They are calling him all kinds of bad names. Gee-whitakers, what is he going to do now? Hamburgers."

"I wouldn't worry about Carroll Bryant, Butters, mmkay? He is a big boy, and he can take care of himself, mmkay? The thing you have to remember, mmkay, is that haters are gonna hate, bullies are gonna bully, and light beer tastes great and is less filling, mmkay?"

"M-M-Maybe we can cheer him up with a j-j-j-joke. If you eat fishdicks, then you're a g-g-g-g-gay fish."

"Mumumufufufmamu-muffuumubuuuma - fulfuufufu a hummufuba"

"That's right, Kenny. Carroll Bryant will always be in our hearts, and while we will miss him on Goodreads, we can still follow him on his blog. We just have to all learn how to get along. And treat people the way we want to be treated."

"I couldn't have said it better, Stan. Just like me, Mysterion, Carroll will always be out there in the world, fighting evil where ever it may be lurking. And writing books, poetry and songs for all of us to enjoy."


"Did someone say light beer?

"Drugs are bad, Mmkay? So is drinking beer. If you're drinking beer and doing drugs, you're doing bad, mmkay?"

"Hideey-ho everybody."

"Hello, children, maybe we can cheer Carroll Bryant up with a song. 'I'm gonna make sweet love, sweet love, gonna make sweet love with you baby, yeah, yeah, yeah.'"

"Okay, just move along everybody, nothing to see here."

"I think I learned something here today. It doesn't matter how old you are or what you look like. It only matters if you're a good person or not. Carroll Bryant is one of the most awesome people I've ever known. He was always willing to help anybody with their problems. Cheered you up with his LOL's. That's how I am going to remember him. So all these mean people can hate on him all they want. Carroll is my friend."


"Respect my authoritah! No kitty, that's my peanut-butter and jelly sandwhich. Bad kitty!"

"I'm waiting for you Carroll Bryant."



  1. I love it! It is clever and very funny. We love you Carz! This is just for you. (lol) I miss that.

  2. hilarious! Maybe if you get enough attention from everyone, you get an episode!! =)


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