Thursday, July 5, 2012

Questions For Carroll

I mentioned somewhere before that I get questions sent to me by people all the time for the past year or so. On average, I might get anywhere from 25 to 50 emails a month from people, some I have never met or talked to, from Goodreads or those who find me on my blog or Youtube or Twitter or wherever they find me.

Some of these questions are really funny and some … just downright odd.

Anyhow, I decided to post some of these actual questions (Taken from my emails) and post them so that you guys can see, I get asked some very strange things. I am also posting my answers with them as well. Let’s begin!

Q) Do you like Pizza?
A) Yes I do.
Q) What’s your sign?
A) Leo.
Q) Do you fart? If so, how often?
A) Yes. It’s a natural bodily function and scientifically researched to prove it is healthy for your heart to occasionally let one fly every now and then. As for how often, maybe a few times a week. I don’t really know. Never kept score.
Q) Have you ever had sex with a dude?
A) No.
Q) What’s you favorite sexual position?
A) Me on my back, girl on top.
Q) Do you cook? If so, what do you enjoy cooking most?
A) Yes, I cook! I love preparing my baked chicken recipe’s the most.
Q) Have you ever been arrested?
A) Yes. A few times. But never convicted.

Q) What’s your favorite color?
A) Blue.
Q) Ever been married? Think you ever will?
A) No. And no.
Q) Ever been robbed?
A) Once. Well, actually, it was more of an “attempted” robbery. Three guys cornered me at an ATM at about 3:00 AM in the morning at gun-point. I told them I was too tired to fight and too stupid to conform and if they had to shoot me, then to go ahead and shoot me. I waited for a few seconds and when they didn’t shoot me, I walked away and told them I was going home and going to bed. And I did. Once, my apartment got broken into when I lived in Chillicothe a while back. I found out who did it then went and broke into “his” house and stole back my stuff plus a few extra items for good measure. Then sold those items back to the guy and told him if he ever broke into my house again, I would burn his house down and maybe shoot him.
Q) Do you do drugs?
A) I smoke the occasional weed every now and then. Maybe like, twice a year. I drink a lot. (Trying to quit) I did some experimental drugs in high school. (Purple microdot, blotter acid, robin eggs, hashish, speed) That’s about it. Nothing major. No glue sniffing or anything like that.

Q) Do you have any allergies?
A) Perfume and cologne. (Most of them anyway)
Q) I heard you almost died from a car accident a short time ago, any other brushes with death?
A) A few. I almost drowned when I was nine years old, swimming in the ocean in Florida. A man scuba diving near-by accidentally bumped into me as I sunk underneath the water about ten feet and pulled me up. I have been shot at on a few occasions. People have tried to stab me, hit me with a baseball bat and stuff like that. Almost fell off the side of a cliff once.
Q) What’s your favorite food?
A) Mom’s lasagna.

Q) Do you wear socks with holes in them?
A) I might have a few pairs with small ones but I use them when I jog. Mostly though, if I see a pair with a hole in them when I do my laundry, I toss them away in the trash. (I actually keep a couple packages of unopened socks in my closet at all times)
Q) Boxers or briefs or commando?
A) Briefs mostly. Boxers when I go out on a date. Commando if it’s a really hot day or when I go to a party of some kind where I think I might meet a girl who is up for a quickie. LOL
Q) Pool, lake, pond, ocean? (Which do you prefer to swim in?)
A) Ocean. Maybe once a year, lake. I only swim in private pools occasionally. (Very rare though) And never swim in public pools ever! I have swam in a few ponds.
Q) Ever go shark fishing?
A) A few times when I was a teenager.
Q) When was the last time you “threw-up”?
A) New Years Eve 1999.
Q) Ever drank radiator fluid / anti-freeze?
A) No. (Wait! … What?) … (No response/explanation was ever given)
Q) Ever put anything up your butt?
A) No. Not intentionally. (Wait! … What?) … (No response/explanation was ever given)
Q) Would you ever have sex with your clone?
A) Wouldn’t you if you were me?
Q) What would your perfect girl be like?
A) She would be six feet tall, at least 125 pounds. Medium length black hair and of Mexican heritage. She would be smart, great sense of humor, quiet type, smiles a lot, and be up for sex anytime, morning, noon, night. She would have a strong sense of self worth and tiny breasts. And the thing she would love best about me is how I worship her. (You know, since you asked)
Q) What do you have as your screen-saver right now?
A) Pictures of my girlfriend. What do you have?
Thier Response) Porn.
My response to that) David, is this you? LOL J/K (No reply or response was given)
Now, this is actually a question that was asked once, I decided to save it for last because to answer it, I am leaving a video. The question was: “Do you have voice-mail? What kind of greeting do you have on it?

The answer is: No, I don’t have voice-mail, but I do have an answering system built into my phone. As for the greeting when people call me, it’s a scene from a Jack Nicholson film called “As Good As It Gets”. (Take a listen on this short video)

That wraps it up for now. I know my answers might be a little surprising, but they way I see it, if people take the time to send me an email and ask, then I at least owe them the truth. Maybe I will go back through my emails and pull some more out and make another post down the road of some of the most unusual questions people ask me. 

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