Carroll Bryant Quote: March, 2017

"Live your life as though somebody else is living it for you."

- Carroll Bryant

Carroll Bryant Quote 06/05/2016

"Stupid sets in when intelligence overrides commonsense." 

- Carroll Bryant

A Carroll Bryant Quote: November 2015

"Never overestimate the value of underestimating others."

 

- Carroll Bryant

A Carroll Bryant Quote 11/16/2015

"My brain is so brain that there isn't anymore room in it for anymore brains."

 

- Carroll Bryant

A Carroll Bryant Quote: June, 2015 (New)

"I want my famous last words to be more famous rather than last."

- Carroll Absolom Bryant 

Carroll Bryant Said It (Quote)

"Just remember, when you join a group or organization, you are expected to give up your individuality. Or portions of it anyway."

   - Carroll Bryant

Carroll Bryant Quote Regarding His Heart Attack

"I'd rather live while I'm alive than to die before I am dead."

- Carroll Bryant

Responding to criticism regarding his smoking, drinking, and eating habits leading up to his heart attack. 

Love Is A Drug

Love is like the first time you dropped acid. You're anticipating an awesome trip. Everyone says it's great. Then when it kicks in, you start hallucinating. People turn into zombies without any skin. When they talk, it sounds like muffled noises. They grow huge fangs. Their eyes turn devil red. Their laughter scares you more than it eases your fears. Everything you see stretches like rubber every which way. Bats start flying around your head. Bugs are crawling on your skin. "Get off me!" You lash out, but to no avail. This is nothing like your friends said it would be. You just want out!

Finally, you come down. Sweat is pouring out from every pore of your body. You're visibly shaken. Your heartbeat starts to slow down. You swear to yourself "never again", but you know that is a lie. You will do it again because you're now addicted to it.

Yeah, love is like that, only without the munchies.

On the plus side, at least you don't have cotton-mouth. 

The Smell Of Love

  Love is like that time you were nine years old and you had to stay with your grandparents for two weeks for whatever reason where you were conflicted with emotion. On the one hand, it's your grandparents, and you love your grandparents! On the other, they only bathed once every two weeks because they live out in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization, with no indoor plumbing, and the last time they bathed was the day before you arrived.

Oh sure, the visit starts out great, and you have taken up the practice to clean yourself daily in a nearby creek, but by day four or five, you're hiding under the porch in your newly built fort sleeping with their coon dog, a possum and a skunk. All of you with clothespins on your noses and a horrified look of terror on your faces. OMFG!

Move to the city grandpa and grandma!

Yeah, love is like that, only .... without the clothespins.

 

Love Is The Key

Big things come in small packages. Like on Valentine's Day ladies when you wait anxiously by the mailbox for your gift from your number one guy. He mentioned something special that he knows you been waiting for all these years of dating, and now it would seem he wants to take that next step. This makes you so excited. You know what you want, and it's about time the bastard figured it out. You certainly dropped enough hints. You told him once that your favorite song was "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. You told him when you were a little girl, you loved playing "Ring Around The Rosey". And you definitely told him your favorite scary movie of all time is "The Ring!" (Are you listening boyfriend?) Then he appears, the mailman. He's walking towards you. He is carrying a package. You're about to pee your pants. He hands you the box. You take it in a swoop and race back inside the house and plop on the couch, ripping the package open. And then you see it. It's a key on a chain - and a message on a card that reads: "Hey sweetie, happy Valentine's Day. Here is a key to my apartment. Now you don't have to knock or wait for me to get home. Love you." - Charlie.

Yeah, love is kind of like that. Only better. 

Not to worry ladies, I'm sure you've grown used to your guy and those "small packages", aye?

A Carroll Bryant Quote: 06/17/2014

"I would rather laugh myself to death than cry myself to pieces."

- Carroll Bryant

Carroll Bryant Quote

The thing I want to write most is the next thing I write.