Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Carroll's Journey: Carroll Who?

So on the 10th of July, 2015, I get a call from my sister shortly past seven in the morning. (I was up until three in the morning so I was refreshed with about 4 hours of sleep) "Mother is hospitalized again." She informed me. "She threw up, was running a fever, and she has a major headache."

"Give me twenty minutes or so and I'll be there." I replied groggily.

You see, I think we have entered a new age with mother. After her life threatening experience a month ago, now every little sideway sneeze or wet fart will be grounds for hospitalization from this point forward.

Hey, I get it, she's getting old. Better safe than sorry and stuff, but, what kind of life is it when you become addicted to hospitals, doctors and medicine? That's not a productive life. Not one I care to venture in anyway.

Anyhow, by the time I got there, she had two male nurses tending to her and as I entered, I did so with a bang. "For someone who hates hospitals, you sure do seem to spend a lot time in them."

The two male nurses turned and smiled. (I don't know why I say "male" nurses, I should just say nurses, shouldn't I? I mean, their gender isn't important, is it?) My mother smirks. "Smart ass."

It turns out that yes, she did puke her guts out, but she wasn't concerned so much about that. "Sometimes my medicine makes me nauseated." She explained. Then she informed me that her arthritis was acting up fiercely and all she wanted was something for the pain. "I couldn't get to my feet or walk." She said. "I have this shooting pain in my hip on the right side."

While the doctor was working on getting something for her pain, they also took her to get a cat scan. (Bilking  the system?) lol Anyhow, I told her. "I hope you get some morphine. That shit is rockin."

Mother rolled her eyes. I then decided to break some late breaking news. "I got pulled over in Waverly on my here."

"For what?" She asked.

"For DWC" I answered. She made a funny face. "What is DWC?"

"Driving while Carroll." I answered. She rolled her eyes again. I continued. "He mentioned something about me not using my blinkers, but he was the only one behind me and he was like 100 feet back so, you know. And then, he mentioned something about being enough car lengths from the car in front of me. I was like, dude, I have been driving longer than you have been a cop and I haven't smashed into anyone ever! I think I'll stick with what works for me."

"You're lucky he didn't give you a ticket." Mother replied. I shrugged my shoulders. "he didn't have anything on me to write a ticket. He just wanted to pull over the great Carroll Bryant." I joked.

"The only thing great about you is how well you can piss people off. Maybe you shouldn't write blog posts about them and they won't pull you over to harass you."

"Oh," I jumped on that quickly, "they are not harassing me, they're just proving my point that they're idiots and criminals with badges."

"Whatever." Mother moaned. "I wish they would hurry up and get me something for this pain."

Sure enough, just as she finished that sentence, in came the male nurse, and she got the morphine! And mommy likey very much. lol

However, her heart rate was running wild and they couldn't get it to slow down to a preferable level so they kept her overnight for observation. Anyhow, during my visit, and around noon, another hospital employee entered. (They were entering all morning. About four or so employees who came in and introduced themselves to me and shook my hand and then left.) This employee though was a friend of the family from back in the day. Almost 20 years back that is. The last time I saw this girl she was like 9 or 10 years old. My little sister used to babysit her. But at first glance, I didn't recognize her. I thought she was some 50 year old looking employee. She is only about 28 or so. I felt bad about thinking that and when she left, I shared that with my mother. But while she was there, she gave mother attention. This woman saw my mothers name on some list, and according to her, she also heard that someone of notoriety was visiting her. Not only was she concerned for my mothers well being, she also wanted to meet this person of interest. Turns out, it was me that some of the staff was talking about. "Me?" I was surprised to learn.

"Yes." She said. "Some of the people here have read your books. You're writing Ted's biography too, right? They know who you are. I just didn't know it was YOU." She laughed off.

My mother shook her head. "I still haven't gotten used to your semi-popular popularity." She told me. (And the truth is, I don't think I have either.) A handful of the staff coming in like that to say hello to me is head scratching. Nobody asked for autographs though. Maybe THAT was against the rules. lol But it still makes me think sometimes. I really do forget that there are people out there who know who I am. And they still want to meet me? *Gulp* That's the scary part.

At least they took care of mother. That was the most important thing to me. Still, I hope this doesn't affect my future lunch plans. Sometimes I like to drop in and eat at the hospital cafeteria. The food is actually pretty good. lol My mother thinks I'm nuts. "Who goes to a hospital for the sole purpose of lunch?"

Hey, what can I say, I like their spaghetti, and other pasta dishes. They also make a great turkey sandwich. And their prices are competitive too. lol

Hopefully, mother will stop being so paranoid about every little ache and pain and what not. But, at least when I have go there to see her, I can also stop and get a bite to eat. And shake some hands with people who seem to think I am worth shaking hands with. I guess we all have our own way at looking at fame or whatever. They seem to think I am someone of importance. I can live with that. :)

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