Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Taylor Swift Or Rick Springfield?

DRUNK DIALED:


Me: "Hello?"

Joe: "Dude, what ya doing?"

Me: "I was asleep. It's like 3 in the morning."

Joe: "It's 3:30."

Me: "Yeah, not better."

Joe: "The old lady took the kids and stayed overnight at her mom and dads. I got the place to myself tonight."

Me: "I see."

Joe: "Dude, I'm jamming to Taylor Swift."

Me: "I can hear. A little loud isn't it?"

Joe: "Can never be too loud for Taylor Swift."

Me: "Yeah, no, it can. Trust me."

Joe: "You don't like Taylor Swift, do you?"

Me: "Never met her."

Joe: "I mean her music."

Me: "No, I don't listen to her music."

Joe: "You're a hater."

Me: "You don't listen to Rick Springfield, do you?"

Joe: "No."

Me: "You're a hater."

Joe: "Point made. But you still don't like her. You think she's ugly."

Me: "You asked me if I thought she was pretty and I said "I am not attracted to her if that's what you're asking." I never told you I thought she was ugly."

Joe: "You told Gary there wasn't enough beers when he asked you how many it would take before doing her."

Me: "Are you sure I told Gary that or did you only hear it from Gary? But I didn't tell you that, did I?"

Joe: "Point made. Dude, I am so rocking out right now."

Me: "No, you're not rocking out. That's not rock."

Joe: "Taylor Swift or Rick Springfield, which one would you do?"

Me: "Those are my only 2 choices?"

Joe: "Yep"

Me: "Rick Springfield."

Joe: "What's not to like about her?"

Me: "I don't like her eyes, they freak me out. Her face is so pale, and that's with her usual ton of make-up. I mean, what's under all of that crap? Is she 'Night of the Living dead' under there? Her body is too boyish, and she has no ass. She can't dance. In all of her interviews she is always, "Me, me, me." Dude, she just looks malnourished."

Joe: "Don't hold nothing back. Tell me how you really feel."

Me: "But hey, if you like her."

Joe: "Do you even like any female singers of today?"

Me: "I'm a Miley guy. And Selena Gomez. Zendaya."

Joe: "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You like trailer trash."

Me: "Touche'. Although I take offense to Zendaya. She's classy."

Joe: "Agreed. She never dated Justin or performs her concerts 90% naked." 

(Long Pause)

Me: "Did you just throw-up?"

(Another Long Pause)

Joe: "Dude, seriously? You would do Rick Springfield over Taylor Swift?"











 

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