I do have some theories on why I have written so much, and I think it has something to with my internal vision. I'll explain.
You see, I always felt that I was receiving some kind of signal or message from some other planet. I always thought it was an energy or something that, for whatever reason, was targeting me. I base this theory also on an experience I had on Christmas Eve when I was 9 years old. But there is something else that has been happening to me that I have never ever revealed to anyone. Not my best friends, not my family, not even to my mother. But ever since I was about 15, whenever I close my eyes and place my thumb and the adjoining finger to the bridge of my nose and squeeze either side, I get a vision of a greenish blue bubble. It is perfectly circled and resembles almost like some kind of see-through window. Within seconds, I can begin to see shadows walking across inside the circle. They are merely silhouettes but I can see they are short, they have big heads, and they have three digits on their hands when they wave at me. And yes, a few will stop for a moment and wave at me. As soon as I release the bridge of my nose, it all disappears.
I know it sounds crazy. This is probably why I never revealed it before. But it is something that happens to me. They do not appear every single time, but when they do appear, I get a really warm and friendly feeling inside of my body.
So yeah, I think these people are somehow sending me the energy I need to write as much as I do because believe me, if I could stop, I would. But when you are compelled to do something, you just do it.
I also think that I am more vulnerable to other people's energy too. I can often pick up on people's energy and kind of predict the future at times. I can even pick up on dead people energy. When I lived by a graveyard one time, for about three years, I went through one of the most amazing periods of my writing life. I wrote about 500 poems / lyrics during that time.
But back to seeing the future - I remember one day I was watching a baseball game. It was Atlanta Braves and they were playing the Mets I think. But it was the bottom of the last inning and Atlanta was coming up to bat and they were trailing by 4 runs. I was watching my little sister at the time and she was playing with her dolls on the floor in front of the TV and she said, "Sorry your team lost."
I replied, "They haven't lost yet, kiddo. They are are going to come back and win, you just watch."
"It doesn't look good, bubby." She stated.
I smiled. "The first batter is going to get a double. The second batter is going to get a double. The third batter will ground out but the baserunner will advance to third. The next batter will walk." I said, and went on to describe for her how the Braves were going to come back and win, batter for batter.
My sister sat there on the floor and stared at me like I was crazy, and then the game came back on and her jaw dropped to the floor as everything I had just told her would unfold right before her eyes, batter for batter. I think she has always been a little scared of me every since that time. One thing was for sure, I even freaked myself out. I remember excusing myself to go outside and smoke a ciggy real quick, but I also wanted to shake my head in shock as I even wondered to myself, "What the hell was that all about?"
But i have had many more visions. Mostly just a few seconds into the future when I can visualize trouble up ahead and stuff. It happened so many times that I actually wanted to believe in "angels", but soon realized it was a female from another star that was watching out for me. I still call her my "angel" though. I have written a lot about her. And them.
I don't know why I was chosen at 9 years old, but I believe it will be explained to me when I leave this earth and return home. And no, I do not see planet earth as my home. I am from somewhere out there. I think Vega. It could be Sirius or maybe even somewhere from the Sagittarius star system. Either way, I feel so connected to the universe. This is what gets me through my days these days.
Recently, my mother was hospitalized and put on a respirator. By the time I arrived my sister was holding her hand and completely in tears. The fear of losing mother was all over her face. I walked around to mother's other side and placed my hand on her forehead. I closed my eyes for about 30 seconds then opened them and looked at my sister. "Her energy is strong. She will be okay."
My sister smiled and within moments, she stopped her crying. When it comes to important things like this, she trusts me. She still thinks it's creepy, but she knows I can connect with the universe. In truth, this thing also creeps me out sometimes too. But I trust in this thing. I trust in this energy. I trust in this vision. It has guided me to this point so why abandon it now? I can't. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It's out of my control. And so is my writing. This is why I turned it all over to Carroll Absolom Bryant - in so the real me can continue to be the real me and go out and live some kind of life. So far, it has been working according to the prophecy that was whispered to me in the wind one evening. Life has been great for me thus far. I wish everyone could live life like I have and enjoy all the wonderful things there is to enjoy. Unfortunately, some are not that lucky. I think it is many of these unlucky people who end up becoming internet bullies. But that is just my guess.
As for my writing, it has slowed down a lot again lately. I went several years only writing a handful of new things until about two years ago, when I had another mad rush of whispers running through my mind. The past year or so, pretty much nothing. But I am hoping for at least one more flurry of whispers sometime soon. But that's the thing, I am always hoping for one more whisper.
And now you know my secret.