Friday, April 5, 2013

Story Time: Lemonade

Okay, so once while my family and I were living in Florida (Indian Rocks Beach) I was so tired one morning for school (high school Freshman) that I grabbed a tee shirt  without looking at it. I got on the bus as normal and took my seat and closed my eyes to get in a few more zzz’s but when I arrived to the school, and while walking the halls to go to my first class of the day, people were laughing and pointing at me and then I was stopped by a teacher and escorted to the principle's office. I asked her why she was taking me to the principle’s office and she said, "Real funny Mr. Bryant. Nice shirt."

I then looked down at my shirt and realized I put on the one with this green monster thing leaning against a wall with his right hand up and middle finger extended, giving the bird. LOL “Whoops”. I uttered in a comical fashion. “My Bad”.

I wait in the main section of the office in a chair just outside his office while first classes were underway. After about 15 minutes, I was nudged out of my second morning nap. LOL The principle sees my shirt when I get up and he chuckles slightly. “That’s funny, Mr. Bryant. You’re a very amusing young man. You do realize I can’t allow you to wear that shirt in school.”

“I didn’t mean to wear it.” I said. “Not that you will believe me. I was running late and just grabbed a tee shirt out of the drawer.”

“Do you have a back up in your locker?” He asked me.

I stared at him confused. “Who keeps extra clothes in their locker?”

“Some people do.” He stated.

“Well, I don’t.” I responded. “I told you, it was an accident.”

So then the principle gave me 2 options. Turn the shirt inside out or go home and change. “Seriously?” I snapped back.

He studied me momentarily. “On second thought, just turn it inside-out. If you go home to change, I doubt you will return.”

“Oh, ye of little faith.” I replied, with a shit eating grin. “But I am not going to wear this shirt inside-out.”

So, I went home and changed. However, I did not make it back to school that day. (Proving yet again he had reason to have little faith)  In my defense, it was a 3 mile walk one way so ..... you know .... it was Florida .... Instead, when I got home, I changed into my swim trunks and I walked to the beach. It was across the street so …. You know … it was a lot closer than the school. (And a lot more fun)

I mean, come on, nobody was home and I saw the surf board sitting in the corner of the enclosed front porch, what was I supposed to do? It looked lonely. It was calling out to me, “Carroll, the waves are bitching today, take me, I’m yours. Take me to the beach and ride me big boy, ride me all day long. Ride me long and ride me hard.” Ha-ha.

So there I was, just a 14 year old boy surfing the waves on a school day when all of a sudden, she arrived. (She being a 22 year old girl that lived a few houses down from me.) I can’t recall her name off hand so I will call her Marie for the sake of the story. And as a young man would do, I started to show off.

Now, Marie was a waitress or a bartender or something like that. She worked nights, that’s all I knew. And this was how she spent most of her days before going to work, by walking across the street and catching some sun, working on her tan. And what a sweet tan it was too. (Just saying) And … what a sweet hot body to boot. (Just saying again)

Every kid on the block had wet dreams about Marie. She was as cute as the sun is hot. Long black hair, standing around 5 feet 9 inches tall and maybe a hundred and ten pounds. While at this time, I stood a good six feet and two inches tall, a cool 180 pounds maybe, with long blonde hair and a pretty decent tan if I do say so myself.

Before I knew it, I walked up on her and said hello. We started chit chatting and shortly after, found myself giving her some surfing lessons. I have to admit, she looked pretty damn good in that two piece bikini. Hell, she looked fine in anything. (Or nothing at all)

She didn’t quite take to learning the ways of wave riding, but she did invite me back to her house for some lemonade.

The next morning, I was walking the halls of the school and heading to my first class when the principle approached me. “Like your shirt, Mr. Bryant.”

“Well,” I countered, “you did ask me to change.”

“I knew you wouldn’t return to school.” He so happened to say. “I gave you an unexcused absence. Not that it worries you none, does it?”

“Not really.” I gloated.

“So, did you enjoy your day off from school? I hope it was worth it for you.” He wanted to know.

I gloated some more. “Yeah, it was pretty good actually, very good in fact.” Then, with that ever famous shit-eating grin, I told him. “It was more than worth it.”

The moral of the story is - If you ever have a choice between school and surfing, go surfing! Although, I’m not exactly positive if the surf board actually said those words to me or if it was Marie who said them. Anyhow, speaking of  Marie again, she lied. She didn’t have any lemonade!    

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