Sunday, March 10, 2013

Story Time: Citizen On Patrol

Okay, so yeah, I used to actually work when I was younger. (Back in the old days) LOL And when I did, it was usually the 2nd shift. From 2 PM to 10 PM or 3Pm to 11 PM, it varied. Or I would work the 3rd shift. Hey, I was a night owl. (Still am)


Anyhow, I was coming off my shift in North Columbus, and made my drive to the South side. (Parsons Avenue) where before I turned down to my street, decided to stop in at the local 7-11 to pick up a few quick items.


I walked into the door and immediately saw a young man around my age standing at  the counter. He was wearing a hunter coat, almost military style which wasn’t too suspicious because it was late October.  His right hand was in his pocket. No sooner did I see him, I turned to look at the cashier.


Now, I used to visit this place on a regular basis. I knew all the girls who worked there. They knew me. (What else is new?) LOL


Anyhow, I saw a strange look on her face instantly. She appeared to be nervous. The vibe I was getting was intense. I could sense that something wasn’t quite right. I also noticed another young man in the back, by the beer coolers. I disregarded him and walked swiftly towards the counter. “Hey, Marge.” I greeted. “What’s up?”


She half rolled her eyes towards the young man now next to me on my left. I took her cue. I knew now what was going on. I turned to the guy. “How’s it going?”


He was about six feet tall, a few inches shorter than me. He was scraggly looking in that, he was well covered by that jacket for his skinny frame. He turned gently and said. “This is a stick up.”


I grinned then looked back at Marge. “Is he for real?” I questioned.


She kept her hands in front of the cash register. “He’s for real.” She mumbled. “He has a gun on him.”


I looked back at the kid. “Where?”


The kid half eyeballed me while keeping another on her. He jerked his right hand in his pocket. He almost looked frightened. That’s what it appeared to me. “Right here.” He quietly responded.


For some reason, I just didn’t believe him. I looked back at Marge then again at the kid. Still with my grin and a slight chuckle, “That isn’t a gun.” I stammered. I then reached down to his arm and pulled out his hand to showcase for her. “See. It’s just his fingers.”


Just about that time, his friend went walking by carrying a case of beer. He walked right out of the door as nonchalant as you could. I looked back at Marge. “Want me to get him?”


She nodded her head. “I’ll call the police.”

I quickly knew what was happening. I suckered punch the kid next to me and by that, I hit him square on the jaw in hopes it would knock him out so he wouldn’t run off when I quickly turned and raced out of the store to catch up with “five-finger” Freddy. LOL


I caught up with him at the end of the sidewalk and right on the curb to the street. I quickly saw a car in the alley down about a half block and saw that someone was in the drivers seat. I grabbed the back of the collar of the guy and pulled him back. “Slow your roll, Goober. You didn’t pay for that.”


“What’s it to you?” The man shouted. He jerked away from my grip and looked at me. He was a little shorter than his friend in the store, who had at this point, came out the door pissed off for me hitting him.


“I’ll just take it back inside and you guys can get the fuck out of here before the cops show up.” I tried to lighten the mood while reaching down to take possession of the beer.


“Fuck you.” The dude cried out, then took a swing at me and missed.


“You little shit.” I retaliated, clocking him on the chin and watching as he stumbled backwards and dropping the case of beer, which then spilled out onto the street, rolling every which way.


And if this wasn’t enough, that dude I clocked in the store tried to take a few swings at me also from behind. I knew he was there so I was able to avoid contact. I did a quick spin move and got behind him, locking him in with a choke hold of sorts. “Okay,” I told them, “now you’re just trying to piss me off.”


The dude that stumbled back onto the street now got to his feet. I could see the glaze in his eyes and figured he was drunk already or high on something. “Let him go, bitch!” The dude sounded off.


I wouldn’t hear of it. “I don’t think so.” I countered.


Then, this dude bends down to gather up a couple of cans of the street. I knew what he was planning to do with them so I used his buddy whom I had a nice firm grip on as a shield. The dude popped up with two cans of beer in his hands. He reared back and threw one that whizzed right by our heads. I ducked behind his friend who was by now, freaking out. “You’re gonna hit me!” His friend was scared shitless. The next thing I knew, another can whizzed by again.


Now out of cans, the dude began the search for some more. He scoured the ground around him and saw a can up against the street curb, just a few feet from where I was standing with his buddy in front of me, still under my control. I saw this as my opportunity when the guy bent down to fetch that can. I took a few steps forward, still keeping his friend in front of me and in between us. As he was bending over to pick it up, I brought my right foot up and landed it squarely on his face, breaking his nose. (I heard it pop) He again fluttered backwards and onto his back in the street. I whispered in the guys ear that I had a grip on. “If you’re buddy doesn’t stop, I am going to have to snap your neck and then kill him. You are giving me choice.”


This is when the guy I had control of started yelling to his pal. “Just get in the fucking car dude and get out of here. The cops are on their way.”


His buddy got back to his feet and started to walk away, before stopping to pick back up that can of beer he had and he turned around and growled as he threw it at us. I ducked behind the dude whom I had a grip on and heard the can hit him square on the head. “Son of a bitch!” He shouted. “Stop throwing the fucking cans dude, you just hit me! Get out of here!”


“That had to hurt.” I joked.


Finally, the guy turned and headed for the car. He got in and they took out of there lickity split. I forced the guy I had control of back into the store. I tossed him towards the counter and gave out a command. “Sit down and don’t give me any shit.”


“Can I get some ice for my head?” He asked.


I stared him down. “No. Now sit!”


The kid looked back at me. “I’m not sitting down on that dirty floor.”


“It’s cleaner than you are.” I stated.


“Fuck you!” He fired back at me, taking a few steps towards me and almost getting in my face. “Let me see your badge.”


I reached out and grabbed his arm, pulled him into me as I turned my back and popped out my hip, flipping over me and onto the floor with a hard thud. “I left it at home. Now stay on the floor.”


I looked at Marge, who was in complete shock at this point. “I’m stepping outside for a smoke and wait for the police.”


“What if he gets up?” She asked me, nervously.


I chuckled a little. “Then I’ll get my tire iron out of the car and jack up his skull.” Making sure he could hear me. I then looked down at him. “You’re not planning on getting back up are you?” I asked.


Still facing the floor on his stomach, he muffled, “No sir.”


Soon enough, the cops arrived and took him into custody. I also informed them about his friend and what I did to him. I figured he might be at the hospital getting treated. If you know anything about hospitals in America, there is always a cop stationed at one. The cop called over and discovered that there was a guy in the waiting room waiting for his buddy who was being treated for a broken nose. Once I gave the description and it matched the two at the hospital, case closed. The other guy and the driver were also taken into custody and peace was restored in my hood once again. The bad guys were defeated. Yay! LOL   

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