Carroll's Journal #16 (Jenga)

Sometimes I think there is a puppeteer in the sky who is putting on a show to amuse himself. (Or herself) Take for instance, Easter Sunday. Jennifer and I are heading towards mothers house (my mothers) and we stop off at the store real quick to pick a few things up. Most notably, Pepsi. Everyone in my family is a Coke -a- holic and I disdain Coke. Anyhow, heading to the checkout line and who do I bump into? The OLD Jenny.

For those of you who have just joined us, when I was 22 years old, I was dating a girl named Jenny. We dated for a while and then I popped the question. Not only did she say “No” but she revealed that she was in love with my best friend.

I know, right?

Fast forward to Easter Sunday 2012. In your face! Haha I couldn’t have written a script more fitting even if I tried. There is something to say about getting the last laugh. Then again, maybe the last laugh has still yet to be - laughed? And so, there we are, old Jenny, new Jenny and me. I make the introductions (of course) and the WTF look in old Jenny’s eyes was priceless. It was like she couldn’t believe it.

In my mind, visions of a cat fight were swirling around. Don’t ask me why, it’s a guy thing. Two cute girls, thongs, mud pit. Wait! Make that a Jello pit. Yeah, Jello. There’s always room for Jello.

Stop looking at me like that.

Oh, and to find out that her and her husband, my ex-best friend, are still separated and in the process of getting a divorce. And again, the facial expression when she heard that new Jenny and I were engaged was - priceless!! LOL She looked like she got bitch-smacked by Mike Tyson or something. (When he was in his prime) I mean, the dizzy look kept me entertained for all five minutes of the conversation. I just like it when someone realizes they made a mistake.

I often felt that we each walk our own path. A path we make for ourselves however, I realized at that moment that sometimes, if not more often than not, others also contribute greatly to what path we cut for ourselves.

For example: What would have happened if old Jenny said yes to my proposal? My life would have gone in a completely different direction. Perhaps she and I would be the ones getting divorced right now. Who knows? And when all that crap went down back in the day, I swore off love forever.

So okay, I didn’t really mean forever, obviously, but it was for a long time. Now old Jenny will have that thought in her mind for the rest of her life of what she said no to. And now to know I am with a young Jenny, it just makes that thought more bitter I bet. All I know is I can still remember the pain of that evening when she turned me down and left me for my friend. Maybe now she is feeling the pinch of the sting that I felt so long ago. Maybe not. I don’t know. But I do like how karma works sometimes. And to the puppeteer in the sky, good job. That episode in the store with Jenny and Jenny felt better than winning a game of Jenga.

I … don’t know what that means.

I think I’m shooting for a record here. Okay, maybe not a record, but hey, it’s been a while since I have gone through a stretch that I am experiencing right now in regards to my sleep pattern. It has been like two weeks now that I have been getting up between 8 AM and 10 AM without having to take some kind of stimulant to go to sleep the night before. Normally, if I can’t sleep, I just stay up all night and go to bed about 8 or 10 in the morning. Ever since asking Jenny to marry me, I don’t know, I feel …. Dare I say …. (Gulp) …. Normal?

(Double gulp.)

Seriously though, it’s like she gives me a reason to get up. Then we end up doing things together and by the time night falls, sure, she goes to bed early and I stay up a few extra hours, but when I am with her, I see her sleeping and I get this urge to cuddle up to her.

Aaawwwwwwww ….. Shuddup.

I think it’s the anticipation of it all. Just being with her. Knowing that she doesn’t care when I go to sleep takes the pressure off also. To her credit, she did mention to me once that she doesn’t feel the need to try and change anything about me, she was/is fairly confident that I would change on my own because of her. I think she even posted that somewhere in my group talking to someone.

I have to say she might be right.

I also find myself getting more things done. Knowing when she is getting off of work and that we’ll probably end up doing something, I don‘t procrastinate like I used too. I now find myself getting things done faster to keep everything from piling up. Even when I asked her if my time on the internet bothered her she said she would rather me be on the computer doing something as opposed to having nothing to do and hanging out at the corner bar and getting tempted by loose women.

Loose women in thongs having a cat-fight in a Jello pit. Jenga!

And it’s not like she doesn’t kill time with technology herself. She has a desk top, laptop, kindle, ipod, and she texts a lot on her phone so - yeah, we’re a couple of techno-nerds I guess.

I just want her to be happy. When I see her smile I know the world is pretty good for me. That’s a pretty cool feeling. Of course, the other day she was with me when we went into the store together where Brittany works. That was awkward. Brittany stared me down. I don’t think Jennifer caught it. If she did, she didn’t mention it.

Cat-fight! … I told you, it’s a guy thing. Just let me have this.

Oh, over Easter weekend, we found out that the apartment over top of Jenny is available. Well, it will be by the end of the month after they get done replacing all the kitchen and bathroom fixtures and laying new carpet down in the three bedrooms. (Yes, three bedrooms) Jenny’s only has two. It also has wood floors in the living room and kitchen. But here is the thing, I went up and took a look at it and was like …. Wow! And now, I am trying to talk her into us moving into it until after we get married. I think we should look for a house as a married couple. But I would love to live in that apartment with her until then. Even if that means we move up our move in together date. I mean, if we want it, (And I do) then we would have to move in next month.


She’s going to give it some serious thought, but I think she is going to say yes. I know she wants to move in together just as much as I do. Let’s face it, I don’t think I can hold out until August or September.

I want her with me every night now. Who would have ever thunk that!?

I’m kind of getting into this relationship thingy. Haha In fact, we had Taco night on Saturday and I don’t know how it started but … we had our first food fight. It was awesome! Not a Jello pit and we weren’t wearing thongs but I would have if … never mind.

Oh, did I mention that this apartment has two full baths? Well, it does. One in the master bedroom and one in between the other two bedrooms. I like it because she and I could each have our own computer room. She can decorate hers up all girlie and I can have my man-cave.

Cat-fight! … Sorry, involuntary reflex. My thoughts stick on one thing sometimes.

On the 5^th, I had a situation. While driving, I ran over something that took one of my tires out. That was fun. NOT! The roads in Ohio are getting really bad. I mean, really bad. But what can one expect? The state just doesn’t have the money anymore to repair them. I know Ohio isn’t alone … I just shake my head at it all. I don’t want to get into another political bashing rant. It’s just too easy to do so these days though. Maybe instead of electing people, we could solve everything with a good game of Jenga.

Things went about as well as could be expected with the shrink. Obviously, she thinks I am making a mistake by ending my sessions right now. Especially with this wedding situation going on. She seems to think it will cause me stress. I am not going to doubt that but still, I will monitor my emotional state and if there is any changes, I promised to return. I think I’ll be okay. I rarely have dreams of that night of the accident anymore. I think my worse depressive state came over the Fall and Winter. Right now, things couldn’t be better. I haven’t been this happy since last July/August when I thought I was in a relationship. Of course, I later learned I wasn’t but that’s beside the point. I’m in a real one now and that is all that matters. This happy is a real happy.

I really want to move into that apartment.

Cat-fight!

You guys didn't think I was really going to post a video with two girls in thongs fighting in a Jello pit, did you? (That's for my private collection) LOL