Rash On My Ass - By Carroll Bryant

RASH ON MY ASS - By Carroll Bryant

I got a rash on my ass on Christmas morning 

I know it wasn't there on Christmas Eve

Santa was suppose to stuff the stockings

But instead I think that he stuffed me

When I was a kid I heard a rumor

In fact, you know, I think I can recall

Someone said that Santa had some problems

He was addicted to some drugs and alcohol 

At first I didn't want to believe it

I got mad and simply walked away 

Because the rumors got so fucking stupid

The moment someone said that he was gay

I got a rash on my ass on Christmas morning 

I know it wasn't there on Christmas Eve

Santa was suppose to stuff the stockings

But instead I think that he stuffed me

And so I decided to investigate 

Just to try and see what I could find

After talking to some elves and the reindeer 

What I did discover blew my mind

It really was a shock to my system

What to think and what not to believe

And So I guess there's only one solution

Just never go to sleep on Christmas Eve

I got a rash on my ass on Christmas morning 

I know it wasn't there on Christmas Eve

Santa was suppose to stuff the stockings

But instead I think that he stuffed me

I got a rash on my ass on Christmas morning 

I know it wasn't there on Christmas Eve

Ho, ho, ho ... ho, ho, ho, Santa Claus is ....... dead!