Carroll's Journal #12 (Meximelt)

So I was watching Piers Morgan Tonight on CNN. His guest? Gloria Allred, some hot-shot, big-time discrimination / civil rights lawyer or something-another. Anyhow, she represented the mistress to Tiger Woods when the mistress sued him for “lying” to her.

Really?

Come on! This mistress is a porn actress. (Not a porn star because I never heard of her before the Tiger Woods incident and even now, I still don't know her name and I watch a ton of .... never mind ) And it’s not that I don’t think porn actresses should not be given their basic human dignity and **cough** respect, but to sue Tiger Woods for lying and misleading? You’re telling me that this girl didn’t know she was being used?

Really?

So what if Tiger lied to her? So what if he promised her the moon? It happens all the time in everyday life. Men and women meet, one plays the other, the relationship is over. Life goes on. And don’t think for a moment I am taking sides with Tiger Woods. No way!! But how did this mistress not know that she was the mistress? I mean, did she really believe that Tiger Woods, perhaps the greatest golfer of all time, arguably, would leave his wife and kids at the time to be with a **cough** porn actress?

Really?

And of course, Gloria Allred goes off on some rant about how she is sick and tired of guys misleading women in relationships, lying to them and breaking promises. Excuse me? This is the part where I had to race out the door and dry-heave myself into unconsciousness in my yard. It certainly gave the skunk passing by something to talk about with the wifey when he got home I’m sure. “Guess what sweetheart? Crossing Carroll’s yard this morning, I saw him dry-heaving. What do you think it means?”

“Well dear, did you shoot your stink at him?”

Moving on ….

What about the girls who mislead and lie to guys?

It does happen, you know? In fact, it happened to me recently with Meximelt. You don’t think I would just love to go get me a lawyer and sue the taco burrito out of her ass for all her lies and broken promises? I mean, I ignored promoting my books because of her. How much in sales did I lose because of that? And then for her to turn around do what she did and get others to break their promises to me in interviews and reviews, how many sales did I lose there? I’m looking at cha-ching!

It all sounds nice on paper, doesn’t it?

Here’s the thing: Sure, it all looks good from the broken heart angle, I mean, to sue someone for lying about their feelings for you, breaking promises and stuff just so they can get you into bed or … whatever their motive is. And if this is where our society has evolved then maybe I should go out and contact a lawyer and sue the jumping beans right out of Meximelt. But because she is a full time student, and last I heard, didn’t have a job, jumping beans and taco burritos might be all I get out of her in the lawsuit.

No offense to Mexicans. I love Mexican girls. They are my Kryptonite.

Here’s the point though, I don’t want to have that option in society. And do you know why? Fine, I’ll tell you why. Because I should have to pay a price for being stupid (Not rewarded) like Tiger Woods mistress.

Yes, you heard me correctly. I was stupid.

How was I stupid, you ask? Very good question, allow me to elaborate for you. First of all, I knew fairly early in that Meximelt was not everything she let on to be. She contradicted herself constantly. I knew right from the word “go” that she was baiting me, ready to hook me and reel me in. But I turned away from it.

Really?

Yes! I overlooked it. I thought I could “change” her. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe in her. I was wrong. And I have been around enough to know that I was wrong before I was even proven wrong. I was stupid. Just like the mistress for Tiger Woods was for overlooking the giddy words and text messages of love "for the moment" to actually believe them when she knew, like I did, that she was nothing more than a porn actress to him just as I was nothing more than a play-toy to Meximelt.

Stupidity should not be rewarded. Not even mine.

This is why we say, “Live and learn” because we live through these moments of other people’s lies and deception and “we learn”!!! Or something to that effect.

Of course, not all of us really learn, which is why we keep getting dumped on time after time. (I blame it on my blonde hair) Although, it’s not that I don’t learn as much as I have this bad habit of thinking that people are trustworthy first and having hope in that.

Live and learn.

It’s like this, Gloria Allred, guys are not the only ones who lie, mislead and break promises. (And hearts) Girls do it too. Not all guys and girls, but some of them. Maybe a lot of them. I’m pretty sure the numbers are pretty even with each other. And because Gloria was making it out to be like all guys lie and girls never do, well, it really got under my crawl.

It’s like my grandfather says, “It takes two to tango … unless you’re into threesomes.”

Nice one gramps. How about I take you out to lunch? We’ll go to Taco Bell and I’ll order you a Meximelt.

Really?